I was talking with a friend yesterday who mentioned that her friend didn't like looking at people's blogs because they made her feel like a bad mom. I have heard this before and just wanted to talk this out. I am an everyday sort of mom. I can get frustrated easily, worn out even easier. I feel like I spend most of my time running the "family business" which means I do a lot, I mean a lot of cleaning, getting kids ready, feeding them, changing diapers, running kids here and there and everywhere, running errands, grocery shopping, making a budget--sticking with a budget, cooking food---cleaning up the food, etc. I am often tired, exhausted even and then come the guilty feelings. I know them well, believe me. I don't play with my kids often enough, I'm so busy doing all of the above mentioned that I'm not really listening to what my kids say. I'm often not "present" with my family because there is just not enough minutes in the day to accomplish all that must be done. I get angry sometimes and then take it out on my kids or husband and say things that I shouldn't say--then I feel guilty about that and have to do some serious apologizing. So, why do you see so much that is the opposite in my blog? This is why-- It's not hard at all for me to remember all of the "hard" or "guilty" feelings that I feel as a wife and mother. They are always there staring me in the face--telling me I'm not good enough. It's harder for me to remember all that is good--all that makes this life bring me joy. So now and again you may hear me lament about how bad I'm feeling but for the most part you are going to hear about the moments that bring me joy, peace and laughter. My blog is not a window into what my life is really like--it's a small view into what makes me happy so that when I'm having a really bad day I can sit down and remind myself of all that is good. I hope that my blog doesn't remind people of all their inadequacies as mothers but instead reminds them of all the good that motherhood can bring -- and maybe a few ideas of things that might bring you joy also in your own families.
5 comments:
Well said! Although, you do make me sick at how crafty you are and how you seem to finish every project you start. That is a huge downfall of mine...
I have many, many projects left unfinished. I of course only show the ones I've proudly completed. Finishing projects is a goal of mine this year. The Valentine envelopes were started over a year ago.
Well said Karina! I think my blog forces me to take a look at the positives and journal them for my children for memories. Everyone has their issues and I think that's the case for most bloggers, who wants to air out dirty laundry for all to see? Blogging has really made me focus on the good stuff, and for that I am grateful.
But I can see where she's coming from on the feeling inadequate when reading blogs. I just have to remember when I read the blogs of the "perfect" mothers, I have to remember that they are only telling one side of the story....
Great post! So true, so true. I think we can all get caught up in the guilt. Ah! The Guilt with a capital G I call it. So unnecessary, so destructive, such a downer. We all have it, so might as well turn it into something positive. One of my mottoes this year is "I'm working on it!" and guilt and self-doubt are on the list!
I think a blog serves a lot of purposes. 1. As a journal of our lives. 2. As a means of celebrating the joys and accomplishments of your life with friends/family. 3. As a cathartic way to cope with the lows. In blogging, we're obviously recording what we want to remember, and even though sometimes that includes the lows, it's going to be the highs we want to remember. Don't ever feel bad or braggy about sharing the highs...your friends will celebrate them with you (even if for a minute they make us feel a tiny bit guilty and inadequate ourselves). honestly, who wants to read about all the crappy stuff? ;-) love ya and keep up the good work.
ok, what olivia said was what i was trying to say! she is much better with words then i am!!!
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