Women's Conference
Tonight I went and listened to a conference directed toward the women of our church. I love this conference because it always makes me feel so good as a wife and mother. I especially needed it today as I have not felt adequate as a wife and mother recently. You know I measure myself against my best which is not really fair because no one can be their best all the time but none the less that's what I do. So, in those eyes I'm usually not measuring up and today I was just down right not happy at my calling in life. My kids were driving me crazy (a phrase I use way too much because Amelia now says people are driving her crazy), BJ was driving me crazy because he gave me news today that he was going out of town tomorrow until Thursday night. I hate it with a capital H when he leaves on Sunday. So, I was definitely down in the dumps (not happy and not acting happy--to anyone!)
I wasn't going to go to the conference because Cardon had a football game at 6pm and the conference started at 7 but the game got over at 7:15 and so BJ insisted I go (he knows me too well!)
I listened to the last 2 speakers (the last being an apostle of the Lord) and felt so much love from my Heavenly Father that I could have cried in front of all those women. He talked about how we as women never feel "good enough" about what we do. We don't feel creative enough, or smart enough, or good enough at house cleaning or food making, etc. We never measure up! He reminded us all that we are daughters of a loving Heavenly Father who loves us and created us in His image. He reminded us of our self worth and admonished us to see it in ourselves. As a wife and mother I sometimes (sometimes a lot) feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and sometimes it just seems too heavy to carry and I want to just walk away from it all (not that I would but the thought enters my mind--is that a terrible thing to say?)
I needed this talk desperately tonight and I know that there are others saying the same thing but in my mind--that talk was for me. I feel so blessed and loved right now to have a Heavenly Father that knows my needs and knows the very minute that I need them. What a blessing to be a member of this church and have the fullness of the gospel--to know where I came from, why I am here on this earth and where I am going is priceless in these moments of sheer frustration and inadequacy.
After listening to this talk I thought about one of my most favorite quotes of all time. I needed a reminder of this today.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us
We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.
And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
----Nelson Mandela---
4 comments:
thanks karina. i could not go to the watch the conference tonight, and wish i had now! you are not alone in feeling the way you do! i have struggled the last couple years, and that struggle has intensified the last few months. fyi, i think you're awesome. you canned peaches yesterday for goodness' sake!
I felt the same way as you...I was so glad that I went as well-I needed that same exact talk. It is weird how comfort comes at the right time.:)
i'm glad you were able to go. Uchtdorf is fabulous, his words were perfect for every woman. When he told the story of his wife apologizing for her meals--And the husband with their gold stars for making toast...i think I heard a few AMEN's from the crowd :)
great night!!!
I'm so excited for next weekend.
I couldn't agree more! It was a marvelous conference! It seems that just when I think I'm ready to give up...along comes an Apostle to tell me to pick myself up again and "keep doing what I'm doing"...It was inspiring to me that he told us to "create"...because that's what I do best. It's my passion, my hobby. I love to create even the smallest of things. Chad still shakes his head at me when I stay up all hours of the night to finish a project. I did it again on Saturday night to finish up things I wanted to give the YW after my lesson! I also loved how he spoke of being/giving more compassion! It's so true as soon as I feel hopeless I pick myself up and go serve someone else. My grey sky turns blue immediately! Thanks for your thoughts on this I enjoyed reading this post!
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